The Counterintuitive Power of Consent.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
~ The Serenity Prayer
If you've been reading my newsletter long, then you know that this column is not purely about business leadership. Rather, it's about the intersection between spirituality and leadership. Or we might say, it's about spiritually-informed leadership. It's in that context that I bring today's insight on the power of consent.
Here's an example. Tomorrow I head up from Greensboro to Boone (where we lived the last 10 years) to work on a rental property we manage there. I have some old fencing to repair, some new fencing to install, and a french drain to dig. What could go wrong?
Oh, let me count the ways!
Could Lowes mess up the delivery order? Yep. Could it rain? Yes. Could I run into an unforeseen installation problem that I'm not equipped to solve? For sure.
Now for you: What are the scheduling items on your docket tomorrow? What could go wrong there? A miscommunication? A conflict? Budget constraints? Unforeseen obstructions to your most crucial project? I imagine all of those possibilities and more.
What happens when a problem arises that you can't solve? How do you respond? Push harder? Grind longer? Call in the calvary? Or simply stew?
The classic prayer at the beginning invites us to exercise both agency and consent, both strength and surrender. If you're like me, you prefer the strength side--when you're able to move smoothly from concept to strategy to implementation without a hiccup. Those moments are sweet, but how do you feel when it's time to yield or let go of something that matters to you?
Let me dispose of a few misconceptions...
Genuine consent is not resignation. It is not passive; it is not powerlessness. You may well lack power in the situation itself, but you are not a powerless leader. In fact, consent is itself an act of agency.
Genuine consent exercises discernment. As the prayers says, good leadership assesses whether we simply need to address the challenge from another angle or whether we need to save our energy for another, more doable challenge.
Genuine consent assumes a resurrection. Objectives that are thwarted and not just delayed are a micro-death. And like death itself, we can resist, but we cannot win. No one leaves the planet without crossing the threshold of many small deaths and one big death.
Which leaves you with the decision of the moment: To throw yourself vainly upon the wall of obstruction, to crumple to the ground in defeat, or to yield with dignity and hope, trusting that tomorrow will bring new opportunities. That there will be a resurrection on the other side of each death, even here and now.
Wise leadership requires periodic consent to our limitations.